Hypothetical
by shatteredfyre
Summary: Sakura has always been a smart girl. So why is she being hung up on the hypothetical? [Sakura POV-Team Seven musing-Oneshot]


Hypothetical

By Shatteredfyre

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Note: This is my first Naruto fanfiction. I will warn you, I am not quite clear on the details of the series. If there is anything you find non-canon, put in a review of what it is so I can change it.

Also, Sakura will be a bit OOC with the things that she knows and the generally depressed state that she is in. This vignette takes place before the Chuunin Exams.

xshatteredfyrex

Hy·po·thet·i·cal _adj_. 1. Of, pertaining to, or based on a hypothesis. 2. a. Suppositional; conjectural. b. Conditional; contingent.

xshatteredfyrex

Pain is constant, emotional, physical, psychological.

Death is our only release from the pain.

Love unrequited is the worst pain—constantly longing, incessantly nagging, forever heart-wrenching.

Three simple facts led to an epiphany of sorts and a cliff. "Why live with the pain when you can die and be free?" I looked down the chasm to the jagged rocks at the bottom, contemplating the question.

Why? Because I don't deserve to. Not when the ones I care for suffer.

Kakashi-sensei: The one and only "Copy Ninja". Teacher of Team 7. Jounin. Former ANBU. Reader of Icha Icha Paradise. He's lost an eye, a teammate, and a faith. He's been through so much death and slaughter. I can see that ghost of his past self, before the events that led to "Sharingan Kakashi", and I weep for him, slipping out to the memorial at night to lay a tribute to him and his comrades, because I know he dies a little each day.

If only things were different, I wonder what would change. Would he be happy, truly happy? Would he have started a family? Would he still be known throughout the Hidden Villages for his knowledge of jutsu and his deadly skill?

Naruto: Lovable ramen-eating fox-demon. Loudmouth of Team 7. Rival of Sasuke-kun, who calls him "baka" and "dobe". So bright and full of energy, I'm afraid he'll burn out along the way to being Hokage. He pours his very soul into his goal. As surely as the sun sustains life, he is the essence and bond of Team 7. His childhood shunned still haunts him, and the Kyuubi lurks within the darkness.

If only the Fourth Hokage had not sealed a demon within a child, would he still be the loud, rambunctious fox-boy I know who loves ramen? Would he still treat Iruka-sensei as a father if his own parents were alive?

Sasuke-kun: Ah, yes, the object of my affections himself. Last member of the Uchiha clan (in Konoha, that is). Avenger. Source of my pain, always, no reprieve because his words echo in my mind and his actions replay before my eyes. I know he cares, if only as a teammate. And that's why it hurts. More than if he ignored me. Even more than if Sasuke-kun hated me more than Itachi. Because he cares, while living with the agonizing loss of his family.

If only Itachi had not massacred his own family, would Sasuke-kun be as cold? Would he be as driven to better himself? Would he be what I know him as?

And so I choose to live in pain, if only to share it with my teammates, if only to understand, because the pain is what makes us who we are.

"Sakura!"

I look up from my precarious position, crouched near the stone edge. My friends, Team 7, have found me.

"Sakura-chan!" The aforementioned fox almost tackled me in a hug.

Both of us would've gone over the side of the mountain if not for our silver-haired mentor pulling us back onto solid ground. "Naruto, release Sakura."

Luckily for me, the blond complied. I regained my oxygen supply.

A familiar snort of disdain followed. I only know one person who can convey so much annoyance in one guttural sound: Sasuke-kun.

"Why weren't you training with us?" Damn! Kakashi-sensei is perceptive at the worst of times.

"Gomen nasai, Kakashi-sensei. I got lost, and I found this cliff, and the view was so pretty…" I let the lie trail off.

"Fine. Don't do it again." He turned back to the forest, Icha Icha Paradise drawing his attention.

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei, how could you lose Sakura-chan like that! She could've been hurt!" Naruto followed, screaming at Kakashi-sensei.

I lingered at the edge, casting a melancholy smile upon the rocks below.

"Kakashi-sensei won't let us train without you."

Training, of course, means Sasuke-kun was waiting impatiently for me. I hope he didn't notice anything. After all, he is the keenest of the three males.

No, I don't deserve to live and be happy. No, I don't deserve to die. I will live a slow death.

… if only to understand.

"Then let's go!"

Owari

xshatteredfyrex

Japanese terms:

sensei: suffix used to address teachers

Icha Icha Paradise: also known as Come Come Paradise and Flirting Paradise

kun: affectionate suffix usually used for males, especially adolescents

Baka: stupid

Dobe: dead last

chan: affectionate suffix usually used for females, especially young ones

Gomen nasai: I'm very sorry

Owari: end

I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the lack of Inner Sakura, but I felt that she would ruin the mood (though I love her to death). Please, review.


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